“Hon, I think Theo is a genius.” These were the words my husband greeted me with after I came home from a very late night with my girlfriends. Although I was very tired, I couldn’t help but smile. I answered, “I’m sure all parents think that about their kids.” Of course, like my husband, I am a 100% convinced that our son is a genius. Before he was 2 years old, he could sing the Alphabet song completely and in perfect tune. His preschool teacher at his 18 month old class was surprised to hear him spell W-A-T-E-R while they were washing his hands. The next week, he spelled S-O-A-P for her. Now that he is 3 years old, he has taught himself how to write. (I would love to take the credit, but I helped him along only for the first few times. My patience wavered after that.) He also reads books – and I mean, reads them on his own and to his sister. My husband and his family have taught him words and songs in Cantonese and Mandarin, which he fluently repeats and remembers. He sometimes repeats a phrase of a song, he has heard just once. He has memorized a whole pop song, makes up his own silly songs, adds and subtracts simple equations, draws creatively, builds imaginatively… and the list goes on. As you can tell, I am one proud Mama! I'm sure you, too, have stories, pictures, and even videos of how amazing your children are.
But I would like to let you in on a little secret. Do you know what I am most proud of about Theo? The boy has a lot of heart. At school, his teachers tell me that he is always the first in the scene when one of his classmates has fallen or is crying. Not as the instigator (well, okay maybe once or twice) but usually as first responder. One mom thanked me when Theo helped her daughter feel better after what she described as a rough morning for them. She said Theo just seemed to know that her daughter needed that extra boost. He always has a ready hug, handshake, and smile for just about anyone. One of my friends commented, “He really gives himself, don’t you think?” This was after he had given her a great big hug and asked how my friend was feeling that day. He takes great care of his little sister. Just this lunch time, he tried to help feed her when he noticed she wasn’t eating like her usual self. He seems to have a soft spot for our Lady and Papa Joseph. In a friend’s house, he actually noticed and commented that there wasn’t a picture/reminder of St. Joseph. My friend remedied that and, now, has an elegant St. Joseph statue above her mantle. And though Theo has been a source of many a mischief, he has shown that he can be truly sorry and makes up for them ten times over.
When graduation day comes, eons from today, I have no doubts that my son will graduate with honors being the genius that he is. But even if he doesn't, what I am most interested in is that he graduates with character which is by far a greater feat. A helpful hint from a parenting expert, James Stenson: Children learn through word, example, and personal practice. It is up to us parents on how we relate to our kids, how we live our lives in front of their impressionable eyes, and how we provide ample opportunities for them to practice virtues. Just a quick example: Before Theo goes off to preschool, we remind him that he has to be the big brother and that he needs to share and take care of his friends. At home, he gets a lot of practice being the big brother to his sister, Lian. Oh, have I told you about our daughter. She's a genius, too...
Does your child/ren know that good character matters to you? Do you praise others or your child/ren when you see a virtue practiced?
What opportunities have you created or can create for your child/ren so that they can practice virtues (i.e., Faith, Hope, Charity, Sound Judgment, Responsibility, Toughness, and Self-Control)?
